I was going through my daily journals diary and I came to read about these two days, 9th and 10th of October when I was travelling back to Delhi from Bangalore in a train. I was travelling alone and charger of my tab wasn't working. So all I got to do was read few books I had carried in my bag, write anything so that the time passes by or see out from the window though nothing changed outside. All you could see was barren land and barren land. The journey was worse because I had no one to talk to and people around me were all creepy and throughout the journey I wished I was travelling in an empty compartment. I hope you guys will find it worth reading:
9th oct 2013
The train is on the move. It started just some 7 minutes ago so it is not able to gain its real speed. I can feel, it's trying its best. It wants to speed up, race, go in its own but it has its limits. Sometimes I feel myself as a train. I want to race, move my life in full speed but just then I realise a new station is here and I must halt. Some people wants to get in. They want to reach their destination and they want me to take with them.
With me, in my compartment I can see many people. People from different backgrounds and different places. In front of me is an old man about 60 years of old. I can guess his age by his slightly whiten moustache and grey hair. He is talking with a man sitting in my berth beside me. He must be in his 40's. They said they are from same place but the old man is going to Delhi and the other man to Andra Pradesh. They are speaking in some language that I don't understand, may be kannada, but I can figure out that they are talking about lifestyles in Delhi and Bangalore. They are comparing these cities in terms of development. Some people in other seat are debating loudly in their own language, Bihari. They are five people in a berth and they look dirty with stains in their clothes and dust all over their black skin. We're at Bangalore cantonment station now, the train is not stopping here. Slowly, the Bangalore city being out of sight. The lights, noise and people are fading away. I look inside and see a new man in next berth, he is busy with his moble phone. I'm remember my tab. Shit! That charger.i would watching a movie or playing a game now.
As I'm thinking over, I can feel somewhat joy, some fear and some uncertainties avout my future ahead. I'm also thinking about the days I spent in Bangalore. A city full of disappointment for me. All I got here is NO!, anything I tried. I was so alone with so many people around. Alone when I was hurt and alone when I was happy. The last days were good. I met some really good people, experienced the power of love and friendship. I somewhat realised what's really good for me. I somewhat figured out who I'm, whats my potential is and what I really want. In this short span of time I stayed here I got some sort of consciousness.
The train is on the move. It started just some 7 minutes ago so it is not able to gain its real speed. I can feel, it's trying its best. It wants to speed up, race, go in its own but it has its limits. Sometimes I feel myself as a train. I want to race, move my life in full speed but just then I realise a new station is here and I must halt. Some people wants to get in. They want to reach their destination and they want me to take with them.
With me, in my compartment I can see many people. People from different backgrounds and different places. In front of me is an old man about 60 years of old. I can guess his age by his slightly whiten moustache and grey hair. He is talking with a man sitting in my berth beside me. He must be in his 40's. They said they are from same place but the old man is going to Delhi and the other man to Andra Pradesh. They are speaking in some language that I don't understand, may be kannada, but I can figure out that they are talking about lifestyles in Delhi and Bangalore. They are comparing these cities in terms of development. Some people in other seat are debating loudly in their own language, Bihari. They are five people in a berth and they look dirty with stains in their clothes and dust all over their black skin. We're at Bangalore cantonment station now, the train is not stopping here. Slowly, the Bangalore city being out of sight. The lights, noise and people are fading away. I look inside and see a new man in next berth, he is busy with his moble phone. I'm remember my tab. Shit! That charger.i would watching a movie or playing a game now.
As I'm thinking over, I can feel somewhat joy, some fear and some uncertainties avout my future ahead. I'm also thinking about the days I spent in Bangalore. A city full of disappointment for me. All I got here is NO!, anything I tried. I was so alone with so many people around. Alone when I was hurt and alone when I was happy. The last days were good. I met some really good people, experienced the power of love and friendship. I somewhat realised what's really good for me. I somewhat figured out who I'm, whats my potential is and what I really want. In this short span of time I stayed here I got some sort of consciousness.
10th oct 2013
8am
Here I'm moving with the train. My phone is switched off and I'm not bothering to charge it, as it doesn't show the network anyway. I'm just wondering if my dad or my friends tried to call me. I look out of the window. The scenerio is neither mesmerizing nor interesting. All I can see is deserted places, few old houses, open land and trees. There are few changes inside the compartment. The old man's friend is gone and an women of about 30 years of is sitting in her berth. I don't when and where she got into the train, when I woke up, I saw her there. She is wearing somewhat vulgar clothes showing her skin and I can see that the old man in front of me doesn't like that. She laughs loudly and is also speaking vulgur words as joke maybe with her friends. There are people standing in surrounding our berths and she is talking with all those. The old man is irritated and so am I. A young man came in and got into her berth with her touching her in places where friends normally don't. Maybe is he is her husband. All other people are going back.
I continously moved from from one end of the compartment to other for charging my phone. The train is halted, its Solapur station. It looks like a busy station. I was getting down in almost all stations earlier, but I don't feel like doing so now. I am lonely, quite exhausted and I still have a long way to go. Still a full day and a full night.
11am
Landon Carter and Jamie Sulivan are moving with me as I'm going through one of my best novel "A walk to remember". I put the book down and remember that book, "who moved my cheese". I so much wanted that book. I went to buy it in Bangalore's biggest book store, the price was too expensive for a 150 pages book. I wanted it so much that, I sat there read it. At least I got that book and its contents in my mind.
11.30am
Everyone hates the situation when things donot turn on your favour. And the situation is, you are on a moving train, you don't have any friends to talk to or any source entertainment to pass the time and all you want to do is sleep, but you can't because you return from the toilet to find out that a half naked lady and her friends are playing ludo occupying your berth. I always wanted a lower berth and now I hated myself for wanting it. I am feeling like throwing them out of the window. So that I shouldn't see them again.
2pm
I had a small unprofessional debate with the lady's husband a few hours ago. The old man spoke on my favour so that the ludo game shifted to another berth. That guy was one of the worst guy I have ever talked to. I don't want to be with these self-centered, arrogant and pothibad people but I don't know why I end up meeting them. Here's a bad news. The train is delayed, will reach Delhi probably tomorrow evening only. I have lot of things to do.
8am
Here I'm moving with the train. My phone is switched off and I'm not bothering to charge it, as it doesn't show the network anyway. I'm just wondering if my dad or my friends tried to call me. I look out of the window. The scenerio is neither mesmerizing nor interesting. All I can see is deserted places, few old houses, open land and trees. There are few changes inside the compartment. The old man's friend is gone and an women of about 30 years of is sitting in her berth. I don't when and where she got into the train, when I woke up, I saw her there. She is wearing somewhat vulgar clothes showing her skin and I can see that the old man in front of me doesn't like that. She laughs loudly and is also speaking vulgur words as joke maybe with her friends. There are people standing in surrounding our berths and she is talking with all those. The old man is irritated and so am I. A young man came in and got into her berth with her touching her in places where friends normally don't. Maybe is he is her husband. All other people are going back.
I continously moved from from one end of the compartment to other for charging my phone. The train is halted, its Solapur station. It looks like a busy station. I was getting down in almost all stations earlier, but I don't feel like doing so now. I am lonely, quite exhausted and I still have a long way to go. Still a full day and a full night.
11am
Landon Carter and Jamie Sulivan are moving with me as I'm going through one of my best novel "A walk to remember". I put the book down and remember that book, "who moved my cheese". I so much wanted that book. I went to buy it in Bangalore's biggest book store, the price was too expensive for a 150 pages book. I wanted it so much that, I sat there read it. At least I got that book and its contents in my mind.
11.30am
Everyone hates the situation when things donot turn on your favour. And the situation is, you are on a moving train, you don't have any friends to talk to or any source entertainment to pass the time and all you want to do is sleep, but you can't because you return from the toilet to find out that a half naked lady and her friends are playing ludo occupying your berth. I always wanted a lower berth and now I hated myself for wanting it. I am feeling like throwing them out of the window. So that I shouldn't see them again.
2pm
I had a small unprofessional debate with the lady's husband a few hours ago. The old man spoke on my favour so that the ludo game shifted to another berth. That guy was one of the worst guy I have ever talked to. I don't want to be with these self-centered, arrogant and pothibad people but I don't know why I end up meeting them. Here's a bad news. The train is delayed, will reach Delhi probably tomorrow evening only. I have lot of things to do.
I didn't write after that. We reached Delhi next day at about 2 pm. That lady's husband was swearing on me time to time, teasing me, laughing and threatning me but I didn't care. He even encouraged a Bihari boy to get into my berth while i was asleep. I kicked that Bihari guy out of my berth the moment i realised someone was was sleeping with me. I had to go through some tough time and i am happy its over.
Then a surprising thing happened. Their station arrived. That half naked lady, who with her activities inside the train was a major source of entertainment for all Bihari boys around, wore a burkha, covering even her face. I felt like she made fun of her culture, showing off her respect to her community but being something else in character, I felt sad to the muslim culture and at muslim religion. Any religion you follow learn to respect the customs and culture or else you have an option of being atheist. Dont pretend and make fun of a culture thats made for your good and is followed for centuries.
Then a surprising thing happened. Their station arrived. That half naked lady, who with her activities inside the train was a major source of entertainment for all Bihari boys around, wore a burkha, covering even her face. I felt like she made fun of her culture, showing off her respect to her community but being something else in character, I felt sad to the muslim culture and at muslim religion. Any religion you follow learn to respect the customs and culture or else you have an option of being atheist. Dont pretend and make fun of a culture thats made for your good and is followed for centuries.
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