It’s true! Yes, I had loved her with all my
heart, loved her a lot. But why do u ask me that I committed such a heinous
crime? Why did I present so brutal side of me? Can you not see my love in what
I did? Is it not clear by my actions that how much I wanted her? Indeed, my
love increased my desire. I started to live in my dreams with her. I saw her
everywhere and my imagination became powerful. I was unable to differentiate the
reality and fantasy. Maybe I didn’t want to, I was so happy in fantasy. Then
why did I do what I did?
Listen! Listen, and I will tell you how it
all happened. You will see, you will feel how deep my love was for her.
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide, no escape
from reality.
It is impossible to say how I felt when I saw her with him for the first time. I had
no reason to do what I did. I did not hate him, he never hurt me. He didn’t even
know me, neither did she. I never presented myself in front of her, never
expressed my love. It was their brawl that I hated. I wanted her for myself but
she chose him and I could sense her gloom. Whenever I saw them together, a cold
feeling went up and down my back; my blood became cold. And so, I finally
decided I had to kill her boyfriend and make her mine forever!
So you think my love wasn’t real? I wasn’t able
to present her my true love because of him. But you should have seen me. I had
dedicated myself all week just to free her from misery. I shifted to his dorm, befriended
him, and gained his empathy and trust.
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see,
I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,
Because I’m easy come, easy go,
Little high, little low,
Anyway the wind blows doesn’t really matter
to me, to me.
Every night at twelve o’clock I slowly opened
his door. And when the door was opened wide enough for me to see inside, I quietly
peeked inside in the dark. His bed was on the far corner of the room. I stood
there for few minutes analyzed every moment and when I affirm he was alone I would
abort the mission. I wanted her to be there to behold my great deed of affection
for her.
And every morning I went to his room, and
with all friendliness I asked him, how he slept. He couldn’t even wildly guess
that every night exactly at twelve I watched him sleep. I did this for seven
consecutive long nights. And every morning I greeted him with warm good
morning.
The eighth night, as usual I slowly opened
the door and peeked in the dark. I saw two shadows moving up and down. I realized
tonight was the night I was waiting since several days. The night was perfect
as all the University students were having loud party on the other side of the
University. Never before I had felt such strength on me, I was sure of my
success tonight. I pushed the door hard and it flung opened. But they were so
deeply engrossed in their coitus, they were unaware of my presence. I shut the
door behind me and went close to the bed and jerked the coverings off. His
naked body tumbled off the bed to the floor. I could see awe in his face when
he stared at me in the trauma of the moment. Then I took out my axe and hit him
hard in his head.
Mama, just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead.
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away.
She shouted to her might as he fell dead on
the floor. The screech echoed through the hallways and reached every corner of
the University. I gawked on her and saw loath and horror in her eyes. There was
no love. I had freed her from her misery and presented my absolute fidelity but
she gave me hatred in return. She started crying blaming for destroying her
life. As she cried louder my anger grew and became more painful. The unusual deterrence
of my mission developed fear inside me. I got nervous, “it was not supposed to
be this way”, I said to myself then swung my axe and chopped her skull. The night
got silent again for a moment.
Mama, ooh,
Didn't mean to make you cry,
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really
matters.
Too late, my time has come,
Sent shivers down my spine,
Body's aching all the time.
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the
truth.
Mama, ooh (anyway the wind blows),
I don't wanna die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.
Then I heard few footsteps coming through the
corridor. I could sense their rush. They must have heard her screeching. I was
filled with agony. Agony, that she couldn’t perceive my love. She assaulted my
love for her and refused my gift of freedom.
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the
Fandango?
Thunderbolt and lightning,
Very, very frightening me.
(Galileo) Galileo.
(Galileo) Galileo,
Galileo Figaro
Magnifico.
Three men from the night guards came in with
torches. They must have been guarding this wing of the dormitory and must have
heard her cries. They froze their steps when they saw the scene. I acted
normal, as if nothing had happened. I stayed calm and easy and welcomed them
in. I tried to gain their empathy and bribe their sympathy.
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me.
He's just a poor boy from a poor family,
Spare him his life from this monstrosity.
As I was portraying the occurrence of the
events in my words, one of the guard entangled me from behind. His hold was
strong and though I struggled I couldn’t free myself. They didn’t accept my
plea about my sacrifice for love. The other two came and caught my legs.
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go. (Let
him go!)
Bismillah! We will not let you go. (Let him
go!)
Bismillah! We will not let you go. (Let me
go!)
Will not let you go. (Let me go!)
Never, never let you go
Never let me go, oh.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, mama mia, mama mia (Mama mia, let me go.)
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for
me, for me.
My hands were free and I still had my axe in
my hand. They mustn’t have seen it in the dark. I swung the axe in one of the
guard’s skull. The other jolted me with panic. I dangled the axe in all directions
and they were all wounded. Then I chopped their bodies into pieces. It was my
frustration as no one could understand the value of what I had done.
So you think you can stone me and spit in my
eye?
So you think you can love me and leave me to
die?
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right
outta here.
(Oh, yeah, oh yeah)
Then my agony, fear and anxiety all disappeared
and I felt a deep pain in my chest. I pressed the back end of the axe to my
chest to control the pain. I sensed the phony life of compromises everyone was
living. The fake love and bogus
relationships have made them blind. They couldn’t recognize true love. She couldn’t
recognize my true love. There at that moment I realize that nothing really
matters in this phony world. A small smile spurt in my face at this feeling. I stayed
there for how long I don’t remember. Next day I confessed for what I did, and
they awarded me with death penalty. I smiled as they hung me.
Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters to me.
Anyway the wind blows.
FIN
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