Big Day

I always had an urge to outstand. I planned, set goals and worked on them but I only achieved sporadically. Now when I look back and analyze, I conclude the only thing lacking was mere dedication. The unaccomplished aspirations were just abandoned as the time passed without realizing that they were crucial for moving on in my life. Thus they got exaggerated and fettered my afterward intentions. But I never stopped planning. Never stopped setting goals. There was a bright side, in every try I was achieving something. This story is about that time when I was getting into college. A completely new scenario was in front of me, a completely new life in a new city. And this new thing confronted me in every possible ways. I was a boy debilitated by my past, timid of future. I came from a small city in the east, average as my report card clamored but I had a will. I had a will as bigger as achieving the moon. I knew more than hundred thousand young people who completed school with me that year possessed that will, I didn’t take the worldwide scenario because that would only demotivate me. I was scared of numbers then, I am still scared of numbers though I chose numbers as my ample aspiration of life, though I deal with numbers every day, there’s no one day that numbers don’t frighten me. One evening I sat to plan, how am I going to spend these 2 years? Something had happened that day. My appeal was ignored, I was coercion and neglected. I realized whatever I aspire here in these two years I have to achieve in my own. But there are difficulties in every level. As time passes the past seem to be smaller and easier, same are difficulties.
I remember first few days in college. I must admit college was full-fledged surprise pack for me. First day I when I entered the gate I was an hour and half early. I had worn an M-shirt, that was some error by the tailor, later I was told. The gate guard told me that I was late. The class had already started.  Then I met smart people collected from all over the country. Then came the college warden rules. As time passed I was able to segregate the real smart people and phonies around me, adapt to the environment that was ever changing and I was able to befriend some of the smart young people around. I must be thankful to these people as whatever I achieved in my life till today or I shall achieve in future their influence is inevitable. I am happy to have these people in my life still today because I know these are the friends of life. I slowly found the edge, outsmarted the cons and the best of all was finding the fact that it wasn’t that hard to get over the average. I was in form, I dedicated my full efforts, I set perfect goals and I looked straight to achieve those. Despite of distractions I hit the bull’s eye. I almost achieved all that I wished for those days. Still I wasn’t much accredited for. That was the time I had a determination, someday I shall come back to this very place only the situation shall be reversed. That day I didn’t realize this would come true this sooner.
When the chairman asked for my time for a meeting in the college that day I was overwhelmed. The past was already so much behind me, I didn’t know why that was so important for me. I felt like I achieved something that I didn’t expect to be this sooner. I came home that night and turned the pages of my journals of those days in my college. I was smiling as I read those lines uttering about this determination I made some time ago. Those days I was leading others, taking them to some place decent to be. But I wasn’t believed instead I was punished and ridiculed, some of the phonies even threatened me. This time this is me on my own and I believe in my path. That day I realized how something you desperately wanted some years back turns out to be not so much of significance as the time passes by and scenario changes. But I was happy for that boy whose determination was finally achieved exactly how he wanted.
Yesterday morning as I walked towards Xavier Int’l College, I had no fear. The day I was asked for the meeting and presentation I was quite nervous. I hadn’t walked that road in years but I knew exactly how it was and nothing had changed.  The broken bridge and its hole through which we used to slip inside, the metal bridge which was earlier a bamboo bridge when I first joined, it was real thrill and fun to cross that. As I reached the metal bridge my head looked above and I could see the inscription “XAVIER” in large letter on the top of the white building. I took a long breath and walked towards the front road which was still a pond as it is a rainy season.  It was a big day for me. I was going to have my first ever professional talk that too with the chairman of the college I was in some years back. As I got into the building I realized nothing was same except for the building and the uniforms. I recalled wearing that shirt, wandering in the corridor and shouting in the court. I looked towards the court, there was a tournament going on, U-19 intercollege basketball tournament, Xavier girls were playing against Morgan girls. The Morgan girls’ team scored twice as I watched the match. I was feeling nostalgic as I stood there and observed around. My excitement was fading away. I finally got the call and I went inside the chairman’s office.  We had about an hour long meeting and we had discussions on various topics. Maybe he was influenced by me, he even offered a job. The meeting was not of huge significance professionally but it was of great significance for me.
As I was climbing down the stairs I was moving slowly, cherishing every moment I had there. My steps of past years came as flashback. I complained, I was angry, I was blessed, I was happy, I had lots of emotions associated. I finally concluded, Xavier didn’t give us all what we deserved but it certainly gave us a lot.